Do you tend to appropriate other people’s tasks, mistakes and problems? Is it hard for you to ask for help? Does expressing and sharing your feelings seem like a daunting task? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you might be an overly responsible person. Yes, it’s a thing and not something you should ignore!
Psychologist and mental health coach Dr. Lalitaa Suglani took to Instagram to share what excessive responsibility looks like and what you can do to deal with it.
So what is an overly responsible person?
It’s great to know that you have a positive impact on people because you make them happy. But there’s a little difference between being nice and being a people pleaser. If you’re a people pleaser, chances are you’re also an overly responsible person.
People pleasers who put others before themselves and minimize or avoid conflict, criticism, rejection, disappointment, and loss are overly responsible people. They often do these good things not because they want to do the right thing, but because they don’t know any other way to deal with them, the expert explains in her post.
Also read: 5 Signs That You Are A People Pleaser And Why You Should Stop It NOW
Signs that you are an overly responsible person
Being too responsible a person is not going to do you any good, it would make you feel the following emotions.
- Feel bad for being yourself or saying no.
- Struggles to ask for or accept help.
- Fear of outshining others.
- Reduce the importance of your demands and goals.
- You end up shouldering the burden because you assume others won’t.
- Fight for full independence.
- Assume other people’s feelings.
- Try playing the therapist with your family and friends.
- Feel relentless when someone feels entitled to your generosity and support.
How to stop being too responsible?
Being responsible is a great thing, but being too responsible can be bad for your mental health. You need to choose yourself and be more true to yourself than ever before if you want to take the reins of your life into your own hands. It will help you heal and will not allow you to repeat anything you did in the past.
1. Set your limits
Develop healthy personal boundaries that involve your own actions and emotions more than taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. In other words, your boundaries refer to your feelings and actions, which should be the center of your being. Understand that you don’t need to feel too responsible for someone in your life, the only person you need to look after is yourself.
2. Limits refer to ‘YOU’
Do you feel like someone is taking advantage of you? Do you feel compelled to pick up the phone when someone calls even when you are busy? Stop doing that. If any of your relationships are stressing you out or making you feel frustrated, you need to set some boundaries so they don’t take advantage of you.
3. Decide what you are willing to put up with
There is nothing in the world that you should be doing that you don’t want to do. You always have the option to choose the things you want to do. If you want to say no to a friend when he asks you for a favor, even if it annoys you, you have the option to do so. So make sure you know what you’re willing to put up with to avoid any unwanted repercussions.
Also read: Looking to build a strong and healthy relationship? Here are 3 effective tips to help
4. Don’t stress over someone’s negative response.
Do you tend to get stressed by someone’s negative response when you draw some boundaries? It is neither your responsibility nor do you have control over their reaction. You shouldn’t feel guilty about setting limits. If they do that, you may need to distance yourself from that person.
5. You can’t change other people
When you feel responsible for others, you can feel like your job is to help the person and possibly change them. This is where your limits come into play. Setting limits is not intended to exert control over others, but rather to set your limits on how their behavior can affect you.